Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
