Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
