stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
