remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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