She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
