belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
My penis needs a shock collar
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
