we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
