i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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