Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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