i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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