What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I wear drunk well.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
