you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
