Plan B is the new Plan A
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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