Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
