i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
