Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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