Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize