My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
