I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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