I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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