hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize