Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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