Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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