hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
