I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
