i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I am in a vortex of obligation.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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