i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
