She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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