Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
