Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
we're chasing vodka with high fives
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
