what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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