My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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