they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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