cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
