i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
