are you so shy because you have an std?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
