I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
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we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
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One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I FOUND THE LEGS
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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