making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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