Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
