thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I don't think brook has ever known best
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
