At least make sure they are 18
Why
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
