wakey wakey hands off snakey
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Holy shit dude........stairs
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
