I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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