also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
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She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
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You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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