i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
