Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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