We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
