And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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