I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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