Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i think i have herpe
just one?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
