I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
