piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
