I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
You coming home soon, man?
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He shit in the fireplace
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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