Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
