and she was petting her beer can
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I have post one night stand depression
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