Define "chronic" masturbator.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
