Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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