Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
