i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
tell me about the fingering
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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