So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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