So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
