just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
