There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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