My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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