I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize