Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
