So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Farmville is her only friend.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize